Too Much Confusion and Drugs
by The Table
Summary: Lars had no clue how he ended up with this bouncy Korean groping his chest screaming stuff about "Claiming his breasts!" But then again... He had been so stoned. Netherlands and Korea. Written by MelancholyMadness


Too Much Drugs and Confusion FF

Hetalia: Axis Powers

English, Humor & Parody

Netherlands & South Korea

By The Table (Or more specifically Ashley or less specifically MelancholyMadness or somewhere in between that Ash.)

Lars had no fucking clue how he ended up with this bouncy Korean groping his chest screaming shit about "Claiming his breasts!" But then again... He had been so stoned. See, his usual dealer had gotten his hands on some of the good stuff. Not the shitty cheap stuff. The good stuff. Now we're talking 'bout some _great_ weed here, people. Like, he had to pay some _serious_ cash for that.

God it had been great though... He was feeling it and _GOD_ was the money worth it. Sadly, now he had no idea where the hell he was.

He decided that it would probably be a good idea to figure that out, so he decided to think back to what he remembered.

Lars, after much thought, (or was it much thought... He couldn't remember.) remembered that he'd been planning on visiting Belgium this morning.

Now Lars wasn't entirely sure what happened there, but he had a blurry sort of image of England and Spain duking it out, so maybe Spain came to visit Belgium? Ya... Must've been it.

Then... There was that Asian kid there too. Who was it... Didn't they have... Umm... They were... Polite. Must've been Japan .

So... Japan was there 'cause he was hanging out with England when England saw Spain who was going to visit Belgium which was where Lars had wanted to go visit. Made sense...

But then what about the bouncy Korean guy groping him...

For a moment his brain shut off.

Lars was too fucking stoned for this.

Umm... Maybe that other Asian guy was there? The one with the ponytail and the wierd "Aru" thing. (What was up with that anyways?) Who was that one other guy? He was old as who knows what... He had that huge ass wall and stuff... He had... good opium? Opium. That's China. (Lars knew his drugs.) China was there to check on Japan and the Korean guy followed him. The Korean guy. So that was why the stupid perv was feeling him up...

Lars decided to think it all over.

He'd gone to see Belgium, but Spain came over, but then saw England and started fighting him over their lost pirate days, but England had been chilling with Japan before that who was being stalked by China who was trying to get rid of Korea who was currently groping his chest for god knows what reason, screaming about breasts.

Lars smirked. He was so smart when he was high. He didn't understand why people always disagreed with him. Fucking idiots.

Speaking of other people...

"Get... _Geeeet _off my _cheeeeast_." Lars yelled (Or did he mumble...), trying and failing to remove the Korean, stumbling a little over his words.

Korea flailed, but managed to keep his grip on the taller nation. "They are not chests! They are breasts and I will claim them!"

Lars elbowed him in the ribs, causing the Korean boy to let go very unwillingly. "I'm a dude. I don't have tits. Go and just leave 'cause I'm gonna go and, y' know, smoke some more pot."

"Pot originated in Korea!"

Lars shook his head and started walking away (And no he did not smack his head on that pole! When he was high he was SO coordinated. He just walked in those straight lines and stuff and was just... ya... coordinated and stuff.). "Dipshit. Marijuana came from China. China has good drugs..."

Lars looked around for two seconds, noticing that he was still surrounded by the strange group of nations who were doing stuff he didn't even care to figure out.

It was at that moment that he realized that if he had looked around first, he could have remembered everything much easier. If only his brain wasn't so smart when it was high... Then he wouldn't have had to use it... Did that make sense? Who gives a fuck.

Glancing at Belgium and noticing that she was busy with Spain, Britain and... Romano? (He didn't even care enough to figure out when he had gotten there.) he decided that he could wait a bit longer to hang out with her.

That is until he saw Prussia running towards them in the distance.

If Prussia came, this flash mob of nations would never leave. 'His Awesomeness' always created hell and there was already some hell goin' on. Because Lars was so smart when he was high (Even though everyone always told him that wasn't true...) he knew that hell plus hell equaled... Lots of hell?

Lars turned around and started walking away, leaving the Korean guy behind him with his arms outstretched.

"Wait! Come back with your breasts! I claim them! They originated in Korea!"

Lars just kept walking.

**AN** So… Umm… What to say… Well… This is crack! It was fun to write though. In my defense, picking "Netherlands" and the "Korea" was like a death sentence or something. I have to say I did pretty damn well for the names I drew. Ya… Well, Read and Review and stuff… If you'd like… :D -Ash


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